There is such a big spectrum to disability and everybody’s totally different… even people without disabilities, and sometimes labels do more harm than good. We just call her Zoe.
We all live together – me, my husband, my adult daughter Zoe, my mother and father-in-law, a dog, 11 chickens, three ponies and six cats. You can never have enough cats. It’s really lucky as we all get on well; we respect each other’s space and we’re all easy going, and it’s nice when our days are finished as we can come together and talk about what we’ve done.
Knowing what everybody’s got going on is really good. I think that by sharing the experiences you’ve had each day you become closer… Family time’s important.
Most days what we’re talking about is what my daughter’s been doing at Family Action’s Wiltshire Community Support and Outreach Service, which is for adults with learning disabilities and autism. She’s been going for nearly five years and well, basically, it’s her whole world.
Zoe’s up at five and ready to go with her bags packed even though her taxi doesn’t come until after 9am. They do so many different things – keep fit with local rugby players, cinema clubs, trips out, show and tell… all the activities are really different. It’s been an absolute godsend, I don’t know what I’d do without them.
Zoe was born five weeks premature and it was hell because she was allergic to all dairy, including my milk, and at six months she was less than six pounds because she would projectile vomit.
I was on my own with my 18 month-old son and my six month-old daughter – I was only 19 and, although it was hard, they were part of me and I knew no different. It was us against the world, and I feel like I grew up with them.
We soon realised she had a learning disability but there was no clear diagnosis… at the time I really did want a name for what she had, and she’s been tested for lots of conditions. But I found peace with it – there is such a big spectrum to disability and everybody’s totally different… even people without disabilities, and sometimes labels do more harm than good. We just call her Zoe.
Zoe can’t read or write and has no real idea of money – she doesn’t like two-pound coins, for example, and chucks them in the bin! She’s kind, she’s funny, she enjoys socialising with her friends and loves the staff at the service. I’m not surprised as they go above and beyond.
It’s lovely to know that your child is safe and happy and with her peers… and having a break from me.
I think that by sharing the experiences you’ve had each day you become closer… Family time’s important.
It was so difficult during COVID as, although they did video calls and phone calls. She didn’t really have that understanding about what COVID meant, so it was like her whole world was taken away.
Thankfully that’s behind us now, but it’s made me appreciate the whole package. She’s so happy and they treat her amazingly and make her feel really special; she’s made so many memories.
It’s also given me more time as a carer, so I can relax. I don’t have to constantly make sure she’s ok. It’s also good to have some time apart, as I’m sure she gets fed up of me, as we’re really similar.
I’m really active.. I don’t like sitting and neither does she – we have that in common. She’s also loves animals like me, and particularly horses, as they’re a big beautiful animal who have empathy and they seem to understand how your feel…They love you unconditionally, which is why we have so many.
We also both love the sea. We prefer to go to the beach when it’s winter because there’s no people, and you can run with the dog and be free there. The dog can be free. The sea’s rough, but it’s better because you can be yourself and be free.
For most busy families, finding the time to come together has never been so hard. But it isn’t the amount of time you spend together or snaps for the socials that matter – it’s the memories you make together. This summer, we’re encouraging families to forget about perfection with an Imperfectly Perfect Picnic. By getting every generation together, you’ll find lots to laugh about while showing your support for families who are struggling. Download your picnic pack today.
